Oh, fear. Fear is an interesting thing. There are these small, irrational fears that can be something that plagues you your whole life. And then there are these deeper fears, that resinate at your core, and can consume you if you’re not careful.
My small fears are few, but exist. The main one being spiders…I hate spiders. If I could trade spiders for a vastly increased bat and frog population, I wouldn’t hesitate for a second to make that deal.
But to really look internally and identify my inner fear, the one that could eat away at me if I let it, I think it would have to be the fear of being alone.
Now let me clarify, though I am an outgoing individual and thrive off social interaction, I also need time alone, to myself, in which I can be an introvert and recharge my batteries. I am not talking about that kind of alone.
The alone I am talking about is the kind outside of my control. I’m talking about being forced to live a lonely life.
Now this fear isn’t like my fear of spiders, it doesn’t cause a comical and physical reaction. It doesn’t hit like traditional fear. Instead is like an ache. An ache that comes and goes, but when it’s there is tries to skew everything it’s way.
Even though I have fantastic and deep friendships a fear rises up that one day they will become paper thin, or even worse, that they are already becoming that way. Even though I am usually a single dude with optimism and in know rush, I begin to wonder if I’m destined to be a forced bachelor who never loves again. Even though I am mostly transparent and can relate with many on various levels, I begin to fear never relating to anyone again.
Heck, it will even creep into the day to day, making every unanswered text message seem like a herald of the coming Loneliness Apocalypse.
This, of course, is no way to live. And thankfully I do not live this way most days. Fears like these can not be left unchecked. And they must be opposed on a daily basis. How to do we fight against such a thing? By remembering not just what good we have in our life, right here, right now, but also by remembering that there is a good God who cares deeply for us and has plans to prosper and not to harm.
When we truly believe that, what shall we fear?